Tag Archives: Hamlet

To eat or not to eat…that is the question. 

I wrote this a couple years back. It still applies. 
To eat or not to eat? That is the question. Whether tis better to deny my tummy its late-night wants, or to take food against these hunger pangs and by opposing end them? To eat…to snack…for in that feast of soup or sandwich what hunger pains may come? Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished. To eat…to snack…to eat perchance to get fatter? Ay, there’s the rub. For in that late-night feast what things we eat must give us pause. There’s the respect that makes calamity of late-night snack! For who would bear the whips and scorns of cover models, the spouse’s mocking, the friend’s tummy-rubbing, the skinny bitch’s scorn, the fat person’s sympathy, Hollywood’s body-shaming when he himself might his own relief take with a bag of cookies? Who would hunger bear, to toss and turn with an empty stomach, but that the dread of snacking, of gaining weight, from whose bourn we fat people must then do exercise, including jogging, and makes us decide if it is then worth the trouble of those extra few calories? Thus self-image doth make cowards of us all, and thus the warm glow of the refrigerator light is sicklied o’er to the pale reflection of man-boobs in the mirror, and sandwiches of great layers and tastiness with this regard their making is undone and lose their wondrous flavour. 
Dammit.


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